Dale: No, no, no — you mustn't say "no" to a micromanager. It's insecurity that causes a manager to go "micro," so any direct challenge would end poorly.

J.T.: Instead, "suggest" to your boss that leaving the car running is not a good idea. Perhaps something like, "Maybe I'm just hypersensitive, but I had a car battery stolen, and I'd hate to see the whole car stolen." The key is to frame it in such a way that your boss can change his mind without looking foolish.

Dale: I would go further because, to a micromanager, changing his mind IS looking foolish. Two suggestions:

1. Learn the art of ignoring idiot instructions. The key to this is to have a good excuse prepared so that if you get caught, you can explain that you were NOT ignoring the rule, just making an exception. Thus, if the boss discovers that you shut the car off, you say, "I always leave it running, but there were some creepy-looking guys hanging around, and I thought I should take the keys." That's safe ground.

2. Wait for the right moment, and lead your boss to a revelation. For instance, the next time employees are asked for suggestions on cutting costs, you mention that UPS and others cut the engine whenever leaving the truck as a way to save fuel.

J.T.: I like that second option — you aren't disagreeing or arguing, you're just putting the boss in a position to make a new and better decision. That's a great example of learning to "manage up."

Dear J.T. & Dale: I'm a manager with a staff of seven. The other day our general manager pulled me aside and started asking odd questions. Apparently an employee had called our corporate office anonymously and reported that I am doing my job improperly, even committing fraud. My GM knows that I am not like that, but she has to do her job, and now that I've been warned and written up, I am one strike away from being let go. Should I confront this "anonymous" employee, or let it slide? — Bill

J.T.: My concern is that you were written up. This means that your boss/company feels you were in error.

Dale: Or, it could simply be that the boss felt she couldn't be seen as ignoring the issue. Nevertheless, the first thing to do is take your boss aside and find out exactly how she's feeling about the incident. Then, even if she's sympathetic, do not ignore it. Suspicions are like roaches — just because you don't see them doesn't mean they are gone. No, they're there, in the shadows, reproducing.

J.T.: Yuck. And though I hate to extend that metaphor, you have to do more than a single spraying. I would plan a series of meetings with your boss, seeking feedback, making sure it is clear that you are doing all the right things. Plus, find ways to improve relationships with your staff. The best way is to help each one with his or her career. When you invest in helping them achieve their goals, they are far less likely to turn against you.

Dale: Good advice. But even with them, I wouldn't ignore the accusations. Instead of confronting Anonymous, have private conversations with all your staff, confiding in them that someone felt you were acting inappropriately — there are no secrets in departments, they already know — and ask if they saw anything that could give the mistaken impression of impropriety. They'll see that you were hurt by the accusation and that you are ready to defend your reputation, while clearing up any misperceptions about your intentions and your character.

Jeanine "J.T." Tanner O'Donnell is a professional development specialist and the founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell. Dale Dauten resolves employment and other business disputes as a mediator with AgreementHouse.com. com. Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via e-mail, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St., 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.