Dale: Well, Mary, you wouldn't be asking the question if you didn't feel that you had a great relationship with your boss. However, even if you two are friends, when you announce that you are leaving, a switch gets flipped. You're no longer a part of the department's future — you instantly go from helping the boss with his problems to being his problem. The boss starts to think about the department's future, post-Mary. And maybe he moves into that future before you want him to, before you've found another job.

J.T.: That's likely, considering that finding a new job is taking longer these days. Meanwhile, he is going to look for your replacement right away, and if he finds one — a strong possibility in this economy — he may need to fire you in order to hire someone new. Or — another strong possibility in this economy — he might just eliminate your position and distribute your responsibilities amongst other employees as a way to save money. So, do NOT tell him. The risk of losing control of the timing is not worth the advantage of a good letter of recommendation. Instead, find a new job and then ask your new managers if they will allow you to give three weeks' notice, instead of the usual two. This will give your old boss extra time to find a replacement, and will show how concerned you are about a smooth transition, thus leaving on good terms.

Dale: Speaking of which, I believe the odds of doing that — leaving on good terms — actually are higher if you wait to announce that you're leaving. Doing so sets a definite time period for your "lame duck" time, eliminating the awkwardness for your boss. Just be sure to offer to pass off your crucial assignments to co-workers and to be available to answer questions after you leave. That way, even as you depart, you are making things easier for your boss. Or, more poetically, in the words of Hada Bejar, "The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose." The graceful exit is the gift of helpfulness.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I graduated from college last spring and was hired as a para-educator (teacher's assistant) at a middle school. My position is considered part time, so I do not receive any pay over the summer. Friends say that I should collect unemployment over the summer if I can't find temporary work, but I'm worried that the school district will frown upon this and that my position could potentially be in danger. Thoughts? — June

J.T.: I would suggest asking the school administrators, teachers and fellow "paras" what others have done in the past to supplement their incomes over the summer. Perhaps they can point you in the direction of other part-time jobs so this won't be an issue. Barring that, if you are entitled to unemployment — the rules vary by state — you shouldn't worry that it would jeopardize your future with the school district. In fact, you could argue that they'd be eager to hire you back so that your unemployment benefits would stop.

Dale: You mentioned that you are "considered part-time," which I suppose means that you already get chintzed out of medical and other benefits. So, maybe the district bureaucrats would frown on your unemployment benefits. But I agree with J.T. that you can't worry about that. Instead, take the money and your year of experience, and don't just look for a summer job, but for a new permanent one.

Jeanine "J.T." Tanner O'Donnell is a professional development specialist and founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell.com. Dale Dauten's latest book is "(Great) Employees Only: How Gifted Bosses Hire and De-Hire Their Way to Success" (John Wiley & Sons). Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via e-mail, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.